Maybe it was never about finding someone.
All this time, I’ve been stuck trying to figure out why it never worked with anyone. Friends, or Lovers, it didn’t matter. It never worked. And I thought maybe it’s just me.Maybe I scare off people that get too close. Maybe I was never destined to be with someone that would permanently stay in my life for keeps. Am I such a horrible person that people end up leaving one after another? I admit, I felt as if there was a gap in my heart I couldn’t fill up. A huge gap. I had days of constantly asking myself, and constantly trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I had sleepless nights, laying awake in bed wondering what went wrong.
And then it hit me.
I felt sadness. I felt loneliness. I felt all those things. Not because of those people constantly leaving. But because I never loved myself enough to think that I would be able to love other people. It was never about looking for love or finding love. It was never about finding friends, and staying as friends. It was about being able to appreciate yourself first before you can appreciate anyone else.
Then everything will start falling into place.